Olympics Doper Is Glad He Got Busted

Olympics Doper Is Glad He Got Busted, Race walking star Alex Schwazer was tired of deceiving his girlfriend, also a world champion. A day after defending Olympic gold-medal champion race walker Alex Schwazer was kicked out of the London Games for blood doping, the Italian gave a lengthy, tear-filled press conference proclaiming that he was actually happy he had been caught using illegal substances.

“When you wait for your girlfriend to go to train so that you can lock yourself in the bathroom and inject EPO in your veins so that no one will know, it’s not nice,” Schwazer said in an emotional press conference on Wednesday.

“I’m not made to take drugs or to deceive people, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t wait for the whole thing to end.”

A blood sample taken from Schwazer just before the opening of the Olympics tested positive for the substance erythropoietin, more commonly referred to as EPO, a substance which can increase the blood’s oxygenation. EPO has been the synthetic drug of choice for endurance athletes, with the world-record-holding race walker’s positive test just the latest EPO scandal to plague competitive race walking, let alone more popular and lucrative sports like competitive cycling.